


Finding The Way Home - A Berena Story

by Alielp



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8267582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alielp/pseuds/Alielp
Summary: How Bernie and Serena find their way to where they’re meant to be.N.B. Updated chapter count from 10 to 8.  Final 2 chapters to be published as a separate story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to dedicate this story to thepurrbutton, for her amazing support in first encouraging me to write this, and then in reviewing it for me. Thank you!

Chapter 1

Ms Berenice Griselda Wolfe sat back into the seat on the plane. This was it, she thought. It really was finally time to face her fears. She had just completed nearly 7 weeks of a 10 week secondment in the Ukraine, but now it was time to come home. She thought back to Hanssen’s words when he first gave her the paperwork. “Trauma is something of a speciality of theirs”, he had said, and he hadn't been wrong. They had barely needed her, really. Of course, her reputation in the field of trauma, now linked to Kiev's new Trauma Unit, certainly wasn't going to hurt its success, but clearly 10 weeks had been an overestimation of how long they would require her expertise. Even considering how little her head had been in the game for the first week or so.

It had been nothing but a relief to be able to hand the reins over to Andriy, who would be heading up the unit once it became operational in the next couple of weeks.

Bernie leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Coming home. To Cameron and Charlotte. To Holby and her friends. To Serena. How much she had missed Serena. Her kindness and generosity. Her fierce spirit in defending her people. Her warmth as she enveloped Bernie into her friendship and family. Her honesty, her trust. Her wit and self-deprecating sarcasm. Her sparkling brown eyes, the line of her jaw, the dimple in her chin. Her lips soft upon Bernie’s, her arms tight and strong around her back, her hand tangled in her hair.

 How many lonely nights had she spent since she had left, sitting in her small rented flat, staring at the bare walls and berating herself, over and over again, for her cowardice in not being able to articulate how she really felt? Her reactions to Serena, her parting words, the look of desolation on Serena's face, tears glistening in her eyes... Strong, beautiful, private Serena, publicly begging her not to go, not to shut her out... These things had become tools of self-punishment, like knives lacerating tender flesh, a spear stabbing through her chest. How could she have done that? The same thoughts, the same questions, over and over. Even knowing the answers didn't stop the replay. Oh, Serena, Serena. Bernie experienced the now familiar tightening in her groin, even as she felt the clenching pain in her heart. It was always the same. Wanting her, knowing she didn't deserve her, knowing she had probably thrown away her chance for happiness. Hating herself. She glanced at the woman sitting in the seat next to her. Attractive. But not Serena. Never Serena. Bernie closed her eyes momentarily, then turned her head, staring out of the plane's window as it began its ascent, lost again in her thoughts, and her pain.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Serena wriggled her shoulders, relaxing back into her spa bed, enjoying her last few moments before she had to move. This break was just what she had needed. It had been quite a difficult few weeks at work, the gossip had been agonising to start with, until someone had caught a porter in the linen closet with the newly wedded Sarah from orthopaedics. She felt thankful to them for two reasons; firstly, of course, for taking some of the heat away from her, but also that they waited to do something so stupid until well after she had resigned her post as deputy CEO. She remembered well the days when all such issues fell upon her desk, and the headaches that went with it. Which made it all the more ironic that she and Bernie had... Her wry smile was quickly replaced by a frown. No, mustn't think about—   
“Aaahh!” Serena thought sternly to herself: “You came here to forget about _her_! Pull yourself together, Campbell. This has got to stop. She doesn't want what you want. It's about time you took yourself in hand and looked ahead, instead of spending all your time thinking about...”

Bernie. Captivating Bernie. She thought back to the day they'd first met. The way Bernie had matched her verbal parries, made her smile. Even in that moment, there was something about her, and Serena had known that this was a woman with whom she could be friends. Friends! Hah! If she had known then what she now knew about the effect that Major Wolfe would have upon her, would she have done anything differently? Steered clear? Avoided friendship? Bernie had turned her entire world upon its head, challenged everything she thought she had known about herself. Would she choose to go back to ignorance? Serena knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the answer was no. Despite the pain she now carried within herself, she knew that she could never regret becoming close to Bernie. Loving Bernie. What she still wasn't sure of, was how she was going to live the rest of her life, unrequitedly loving Bernie as she did.

She wasn't looking forward to returning to work. Facing the ghosts of memories around every corner. A conversation they had had in this corridor, laughing at Ric from the nursing station, planning a dinner which would have been so much more in the scrub room. And that was without even considering their office – no, _her_ office - where so many of their last achingly beautiful and painful moments together had played out.

Serena sat up, swinging her legs off the bed and dropping her head into her hands. Who was she kidding? It made no difference where she was. Bernie was a part of her now, wrapped around her heart and woven into her soul. She understood, finally, that there was no running away from how you feel. Who you _are_.

If only Bernie had understood this, if only she had wanted what Serena wanted. Serena inwardly cringed as she remembered Bernie's shift from affection, desire, and nervous anticipation, to withdrawal and fleeing after she confessed that her feelings for Bernie were so much more than mere desire. If only Bernie had found the courage to simply explain to Serena that she wasn't interested in a relationship. It would have hurt, my goodness it would have hurt, and the humiliation would have been intense. But then at least Bernie wouldn't have needed to run away to avoid hurting her. As hard as it would have been to face Bernie from day to day, as hard as it _would_ be upon her return, it would still have been preferable to this intense feeling of loss and confusion that she was currently drowning in.

Determined to shake off this latest wave of hopelessness, Serena stood up sharply, clapping and then rubbing her hands together briskly. Right, Campbell. Enough self-indulgence. Time to get dressed and go and meet Jason.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Two days later, Bernie pulled her car up into her old spot. She drew a deep, shaky breath and tried to calm the knot in her stomach. “Come on, Soldier, pull yourself together. Time to face the music of your own orchestration.” She slipped out of the car, locking it behind her, and head down, began her march back into Holby City Hospital.

She had a reasonably uneventful entry into the building. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realised there was no one she knew in the foyer, and the lift was empty. It wasn't until the lift doors opened onto AAU's floor and she stepped out into the corridor that things started to go wrong. She held her head high as she walked along, drawing heavily on her army discipline to keep herself from stumbling and running. Ahead, a pair of nurses looking at a chart, stopped their activity to stare at her. “Here we go”, thought Bernie, doing her best to ignore the stares. Then, the realisation hit. “Oh, Serena! My poor Serena”, she thought, as she realised that this was a backlash from all these weeks later. What must her dear, private Serena have endured, when her departure scene was still fresh? And all alone, he had left her all alone, with their dirty laundry spread out for all to see. Her thoughts blinded her to other reactions as she approached the doors of AAU and, hesitating for a breath, let herself in with her card.

Raf was standing straight ahead, at the nurses’ station, chart in hand. Bernie fought to keep her attention focussed solely upon him, as all around, the background chatter died to silence and all heads turned, pointed at her. During the next few endlessly stretching seconds, Bernie experienced a momentary sense of deja vu, from her forced outing on Keller by a patient – but, like this, even that discomfort was afforded no more than a brief moment as every one of her senses desperately cast about, searching for Serena.

 "Ms Wolfe! Welcome back!" Raf's gentle brogue snapped her back to focus, and he gave her a kind smile. His words seemed to be the trigger for the rest of the staff, as they too gradually turned back to their tasks in hand, and conversations restarted. Different conversations from those before, no doubt.

"Mr di Lucca. It's good to see you. How has... everything... been?"

"Pretty good, actually. We managed OK. That's not to say we didn't miss you, but on the whole..."

"And Serena?" Bernie interrupted with the only question that mattered.

"Well, Serena has had a bit of a tough time. But she's a strong woman. She made it through. She needs a break though. She doesn't deserve to have to face any more problems at the moment."

Bernie accepted the warning with good grace, looking down at her twisting fingers. "I understand. Is she... um, is she... in the office?"

"Oh, no, Serena isn't here!"

"Oh?" Bernie's eyes flashed back up to meet Raf's.

"She's on a few weeks leave. Change of scenery."

"Ah." Bernie’s face fell. "I see. Well, I'd best get back up to speed. Let me lose this", she said, indicating her coat and bag, "and we'll crack on with ward rounds. OK?"

"Good plan", agreed Raf.

Bernie opened the door of the office she shared with Serena. Glancing around, she allowed the familiar surroundings to calm her, her eyes automatically searching out the few small personal knickknacks that Serena kept. She sank down at her desk, eyes outwardly focussed on the empty chair in front of her, her mind painting in an image of the beautiful dark haired woman gazing back at her with a smile, her ears echoing with ghosts of conversations past.  “It’s about the promise he made to her... the woman he loves” ... “I don't want you to go” ... “no, it made me realise...”

This was going to do no good at all. She was here to work. And work she would. With a sigh, Bernie stood, and hanging her coat and bag, walked out onto the ward to start her day.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the short chapter, but I didn't feel it belonged either on the end of the chapter before, or the beginning of the next.

Chapter 4

A week had passed since Bernie’s return to AAU. Life was acceptable. She had seen Cameron and Charlotte, and of the two, at least Cam had been happy to see her. Marcus had restarted the vitriol, but she could barely bring herself to care any longer. The only thing she really cared about right now was that Serena was due to return from her break today. Today was the day they would come face to face. Bernie was beside herself. Her usual mask of competent army medic was in tatters. Her eyes were dark-rimmed from lack of sleep - she had spent the previous night tossing and turning, trying to work out how she was going to approach Serena and beg for her forgiveness. Her hands shook a little as she unbuttoned her shirt. She craved a cigarette, but had settled instead for another coffee. Just what she needed when she was already a ball of nerves. She dragged her scrub top over her head, tugging it down impatiently, before tossing away the dregs of her coffee and making her way out onto the ward.

Within moments of Bernie’s appearance, the red phone began its shrill and distinctive ring. Like a drowning man spying a life buoy, Bernie threw herself toward the phone, answering the call urgently. Offering up a silent prayer of thanks for the reprieve, she gratefully yet guiltily accepted the incoming trauma – multiple gunshot wounds – knowing it would put her safely in theatre for a good portion of the day, and allow her a few hours longer to prepare for seeing Serena once more.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“Well, here goes nothing”, thought Serena. As much as her couple of weeks away from the hospital hadn’t worked in her original plan to drive Bernie Wolfe from her head, it had still been pleasant to have a break. She had always loved her job, but since Bernie had left, it had felt like some of the colour had leached out of her life, and this phenomenon was never more noticeable than when within the walls of AAU, where they had spent so much time together. She took a deep breath in, composing her face, then swiped herself into the ward, plastering a cheery smile on her face. “Good morning troops!” she called jovially as she walked past staff dotted around the ward. “Looks like things have been under control in my absence!” Her greeting was met with nervous smiles, and sidelong glances. “What is it? Do I have something stuck in my hair? Or has something happened that I really ought to know about?” For a moment, nobody moved, but then Morven excused herself from the patient she had been dealing with and walked over to Serena.

“Welcome back!” she said cheerily. “There’s no problem, everything has been going fine. We’re on top of all the patients, and we have a trauma case in surgery at the moment. Raf is operating. With...”

“With?” asked Serena impatiently.

“With Bernie”, Morven replied.

Serena took a sharp breath in, and an involuntary step backward.

“Bernie?” she gasped. “She’s back?”

“She came back last week. Apparently she was able to hand over the setting up of the new trauma unit sooner than expected.”

Serena stood, frozen in place, staring unseeingly at Morven. This couldn’t be happening. How could she not know? Why had no one warned her? Ah, that was right. She’d insisted on a total break from the hospital. Complete radio silence. Didn’t want to hear a thing from any of her colleagues and friends, just wanted time away from it all. But still, something like this – surely someone would have realised that _this_ situation was important enough to break radio silence for? Clearly not. Well, like it or not, this was happening, and she couldn’t stand here like an idiot all day.

“Right. Well. Thanks, Morven.”

Serena spun on her heel and without even pausing to put away her coat and bag, she strode off into the bathroom. She dropped her bag on the floor, leaned on the sink, and surveyed her pale and shocked face in the mirror. “Right, Campbell”, she said to herself. “You might not have expected this today, but it’s happening and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it, apart from pull yourself together and get on with your job. You’re a grown woman. You can be civil, and keep any contact professional and to a minimum!” and with this stern talking to, she splashed water on her face, wondering if there were any meetings or similar that she could wrangle an invitation to.

Bernie leaned dejectedly on the edge of the operating table.

“Time of death, 10.37.”

“There’s nothing more we could have done. He was too far gone even when he came in. You know that”, offered Raf.

“That doesn’t make it easier”, Bernie replied. “It’s such a waste.”

“Yes, it is”, agreed Raf. “Let’s hope the police catch the monster that did this.”

“Do we know if there are any next of kin?” asked Bernie. “We need to let his people know.”

“I don’t know yet. Best check in at the nurses’ station”, said Raf, heading off to scrub out.

Bernie and Raf trudged silently back along the corridor to the nurses’ station in AAU. Bernie’s head was down, as she inwardly contemplated the surgery they had performed, running through each action, step by step, searching for something they might have done differently. Something that might have changed the outcome. Caught as she was in her own circling thoughts, she had almost reached the nurses’ station before she looked up. There before her, open chart in hand, stood none other than Serena Campbell.

“Serena!” she whispered.

“Ms Wolfe”, replied Serena in a flat tone, her face set in uncompromising lines. “Welcome back.” She turned and walked away into their office, shutting the door behind her with a decisive click.

Bernie stood staring at the door for several moments, frozen in place, desperately trying to decide the right course of action. Should she leave Serena alone? No, that was her last mistake. Not talking things through. Not explaining her fears, her feelings. She desperately needed to apologise. To explain. Serena deserved nothing less, whatever the outcome. She owed it to her – to both of them.

Mind firmly made up, Bernie turned to Raf. “Raf, could you find out about the next of kin, please? There’s something I need to do.”

Raf looked from Bernie to the closed office door, and back again. “No problem. Take your time”, he replied.

Serena sat at her desk, her head resting on hands so tightly clenched together that her knuckles showed white. “No, no, no!” she thought. This couldn’t be happening. She had decided earlier that the office was to be avoided today, it was too private, a place where awkward conversations were too hard to avoid. She was supposed to be staying on the ward, out in public where there would be no chance for any humiliating encounters. True, they weren’t exactly overrun with patients, but she had been reasonably sure she could have worked things out so their paths had only minimally overlapped. But despite all her intentions, one look at the woman she loved had sent her running for the one place she wasn’t safe from further pain.

The office door clicked open. Serena’s eyes squeezed shut behind her locked hands. She knew who had just entered the room, every sense and nerve ending screamed out the answer. _Bernie._

“Serena, I need to talk to you. To explain.”

Serena snapped upright, face an unreadable mask. She held her hand up, cutting Bernie off.  
“Well, you can't need to talk to me that badly. You got by fine without talking, this past 8 weeks”, she replied in a clipped tone.  
“I know. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you!” Bernie’s voice was soft, eyes pleading.  
“Yes, well, no need to drag it all up now. Let's just forget what was said and keep it professional, shall we? Get on with our jobs.”  
“I don't want that Serena. I want to tell you about how difficult the last 8 weeks have been for me, and I want to know how you've been...”  
“Really?! So what far-flung part of the world will you be buggering off to this time I say something you don't like?” Serena’s voice dripped with sarcasm.  


Bernie’s eyes dropped under Serena’s uncompromising glare. “You're right, Serena. I did walk out and leave you. But I meant what I said, that I didn't want to hurt you. It's just that, everything in my life felt so messy. I hurt every person I care for, and I was terrified I would do the same to you. I hurt Marcus, my kids, Alex Dawson... It feels like every relationship ends in pain and suffering. I couldn't bear for that to have happened with you. I needed you to know for sure what you wanted, because there's more at stake for me than just protecting you from me. I was afraid of how much you could hurt me too. You see, when I said I care about you, the truth is, I feel so much more. I was a coward. I couldn't see a way through without creating time and space for both of us, to know for sure.” She gazed at Serena imploringly, pain sharpening the lines upon her face.   
“And _do_ you know for sure?” asked Serena, her mask slipping as a small ray of hope welled up inside her.   
“Yes.” Bernie’s answer was sure and immediate.  
Serena paused. When she finally spoke, her voice was low and breathless, eyes glistening with unshed tears of anxiety and hopefulness. “And what is it that you know?”  
Bernie’s face softened, her eyes steady as she met Serena’s. Her mouth trembled for a moment as she searched for the words to express how she felt. “I know that I want you. I... I want to be with you. I've thought of nothing but you since I've been away. Of kissing you, how wonderful your lips felt on mine. The things you said to me... you're all I've wanted, Serena. I've missed you so badly, it hurt. I had to come back to you.”  
For Serena, Bernie’s words were enough to turn the threat of tears into a reality, and the first few tears trickled down her cheeks. She studied the blonde’s face intently, awed by the naked need she saw there, and the raw honesty she felt from this woman who was usually so reserved and private with her feelings. She was beginning to understand at last how hard it was for Bernie to open up about anything, let alone her innermost heart. Her own heart lifted, the darkness that had surrounded her for the past couple of months finally starting to clear.

Bernie watched the emotions play across Serena’s face, searching for a sign. Suddenly she dropped her eyes down to her twisting hands. “Have, ahem, have you decided how you feel?” Her voice was husky.  
“I knew how I felt when you left, nothing has changed. Contrary to your opinion that not wanting you to leave was different from knowing what I did want, I found the two to be inextricably bound. You're a fool, Bernie Wolfe.” Although infused with her usual sarcasm, Serena’s tone was lighter, softer, filled with... was it anticipation? Bernie’s eyes snapped back to Serena’s face, drinking in the look of promise she found there.  
“You're right. I am a fool”, she said. “Before I left, you told me that if two people love each other, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Do you still believe that to be true?”  
“If you're asking me if I would be prepared to publicly acknowledge my feelings for you, I've already ridden the rumour mill. I think it's safe to say _that_ cat is well and truly out of the bag!” Serena smiled wryly at Bernie.  
“I'm so sorry, Serena. What a mess I left you with. I... I hurt you. Just like I hurt everyone.” Bernie’s face fell again.  
“No, no, no - you don't get to do that!” Serena interjected. “You made your choice to go, but I’d be lying if I didn't admit I had a part to play in that too. I know I rushed ahead, pushed too far, too hard.”

“Well, I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere”, promised Bernie. “I would really like the chance to make things up to you. I understand if you need more time, more space.”  
“Excuse me, are we _having_ the same conversation? I _told_ you I know what I want. And more time and space wasn't part of it.” Serena’s voice dripped with sarcasm, but her tone was gentle.  
“Does that mean...?”  
“That means, I would like the chance to talk more.” Serena’s face finally split into a beaming smile.

“Yes, please!” said Bernie, smiling back gratefully. “Would you consider drinks after work?”

“Yes, I would”, said Serena. “Oh, but Bernie?”

“Yes?”

“I do think it would be rather a good idea if we finish sorting through our dirty laundry before we air it in public again.” Serena tilted her head in the direction of the ward. “After my actions when you left before, I don’t particularly relish dealing with any further fallout. I’m going to make a start on these case reviews that have been piling up in my absence, so I shall be stuck in the office for most of the day.”

“Understood.” Bernie gave a decisive nod. There was still so much to say, so much time and hurt to make up for. Serena was quite right that the hospital was not the place to do that. She couldn’t bear the idea that Serena should be subject to further insidious gossip because of her – not when things were still so fragile. She stood up, giving Serena a small smile before heading to the door. She cast one last longing glance over her shoulder as she stepped out of the office, before pulling the door closed behind her and plastering a briskly professional smile upon her face, she marched up to the staring nurses.

“Right, where are we with our trauma victim’s next of kin?”

The remainder of the day passed smoothly, although to Bernie, it felt like it was taking a lifetime. She had to work hard to stop herself from repeatedly looking toward the office, snatching stolen glimpses of the woman who held her heart. For Serena, it was easier. She found herself spending most of the day staring through the blinds, watching Bernie as she worked, experiencing a thrill rush up through her chest every time she saw the other woman smile, or punctuate a conversation with the strong and sure gestures of her hands. She could still scarcely believe that Bernie had returned, and contrary to everything she had believed over these last months, Bernie wanted to be with her too.

Finally, their shifts came to an end. Waiting in the office for Bernie to return, Serena snorted self-disparagingly as she surveyed the mess on her desk, and took in just how little work she had actually achieved today, amidst her daydreams of Bernie. “I’d have an F1 booted from the programme if they had done as little work as I have today!” she thought ironically. Shuffling papers together and restacking files passed a few minutes, until the door opened and Bernie came in, back in her own clothes, and looking nervous.

“Hi!” she said.

“Hello yourself!” Serena’s eyes scanned the woman before her, the open neckline of her shirt hinting at curves beneath, trousers clinging tightly to every inch of the endless and stunning legs beneath.

“Are we all set?” asked Bernie, not unaware of the other woman’s scrutiny, the first tendrils of arousal curling in her stomach as Serena’s eyes caressed her body.

“All set... Yes... Right, then.” Serena looked away, trying to hide her own nerves, to snatch up her coat and bag. “To Albie’s!”

They walked to Albie’s in near silence, avoiding looking at each other, both still in agreement that they didn’t want to add more fuel to the gossip mill whilst in the hospital. Albie’s wasn’t massively busy, but as they walked to the bar to order, it became clear that they had a number of acquaintances there, many of whom had a smile, a nod, or a welcome back for one or other of them. When Fletch and Raf walked in for a quick drink before heading back to the kids, it was the last straw.

“Serena, this is a bad idea. We can’t talk here.” Bernie indicated toward the seating area with her eyes.

“You’re not wrong! I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose this place!” Serena chuckled.

“Um, Serena?” Bernie asked hesitantly.

“Yes?”

“I don’t suppose you would consider coming over to mine? We could talk in peace there, and I have plenty of Shiraz in... We could have a bite to eat too, if you wanted to? I don’t have much in, but I’m sure I could find something?”

Serena’s eyes searched the other woman’s face. She knew that accepting Bernie’s invitation would mean more than just a talk. It would mean forgiveness, soul baring, and the beginning of something wonderful. She had no doubt in her mind that she loved and wanted this woman, and she was beginning to believe that Bernie was ready to be with her in return. But was she really ready to forgive? She took in the brown eyes before her, full of hope. The slightly parted lips, the graceful neck, and jaw held tight in anticipation. All at once, Serena knew she was indeed ready to forgive. What could possibly be achieved by holding on to hurt? Hadn’t they been apart for long enough? Wasn’t it time to discover where their love would lead them? After all, wasn’t that was love was? Forgiveness, and defending the indefensible.

“That would be lovely.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature (and long!!) content alert for this chapter.

Chapter 6.

“Here we are, then!” said Bernie shyly, as Serena’s car pulled in behind hers, and they exited at the same time. “Welcome to my place! Thank you for agreeing to come.”

Serena blushed as she remembered the last time they had planned to have dinner at Bernie’s house. “Yes, well. Better late than never, I always say!” She inwardly cringed at the flippant remark which had slipped out as she had tried to hide her nervous tension.

“Hmm.” Bernie gave her an enigmatic half smile. “Well, come on in, then. I, for one, am ready to have that drink and put today behind me.” She repeated her words from earlier. “I’ve got plenty of Shiraz in. A glass for you?”

“That would be lovely.”

Serena followed Bernie through the front door and into the front room which doubled as both a living and dining room.

She gestured to the sofa. “Have a seat, Serena. I’ll get the wine.” Bernie disappeared back through the door, returning a few minutes later with a bottle and two glasses. As she poured, Serena perched on the edge of the sofa and took the opportunity to study the room about her, which also helped prevent her from staring helplessly at the woman in front of her. The room was clearly lived in, the scattering of books and papers near the sofa showed that someone spent time here. There were a couple of photos on the empty shelf of an otherwise heaving book case, Serena recognised Cameron in one, and the other, she assumed, must be Charlotte. But beyond those few small touches of homeliness, the rest of the room felt a little empty, unloved.

Having finished pouring the wine, Bernie sat too, body turned toward Serena’s. She noticed Serena’s gaze wandering around the room.

“I’m not much of a home maker, am I?!” she asked, self-deprecatingly. “As much as Holby _is_ my home, I guess I’m still not used to having such a large space. On tour, you don’t get to keep much personal stuff with you. There’s just not enough room, and very little private space. I often think I should do more here, but I’m just not sure I know where to start.”

“It’s OK, Bernie. It’s very you. Very self contained.” Serena smiled at her. “Now, my place is a horse of a different colour. Dusty old knick knacks everywhere. I do like my things around me!”

“I expect your house is very lovely. Very you. Very warm.”

Serena blushed again at the compliment. “Well, I don’t know about that...”

“Serena,” Bernie intervened. “I can see that you’re nervous. I just want you to know that you don’t need to be. I know how much I hurt you, and although I hope you understand a little more now about where my head was when I made that decision, I know that I still have a long way to go to make things right with you. I wanted you here tonight, because I wanted to spend time with you. I want to prove to you how I feel...”

Serena blushed for a third time, and smiled shyly, eyes sparkling.

“No, no, I didn’t mean like that! Although, don’t get me wrong, I’d _like_ to prove it to you like that... What I actually meant was, by spending time with you, and being as honest as I can about my thoughts, and my feelings for you. I don’t ever want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just want to be here, with you, like this. It’s enough for me, for now.”

Serena looked down at her wine glass, and taking a gulp for courage, said, “Whilst I do appreciate your concern for my feelings, the thing is, Bernie, I’ve known for a long time what I want. And it’s not enough for me.”

“What are you saying, Serena?”

“What I’m saying”, Serena took a deep breath, and reached out and took Bernie’s glass from her hand, placing it down on the nearby coffee table, “is that I want... I _need_ you to kiss me. Right now.”

Bernie’s eyes roamed hungrily over Serena’s face, taking in the flush of her cheekbones, her quick breaths coming through slightly parted lips, and her eyes, burning with a hunger that Bernie never thought she would see. Unable to hold back any more, Bernie slid across the sofa until her knee was pressed against Serena’s, bodies still facing. She leaned forward slowly, drowning in Serena’s burning gaze, until the heat ignited in her too, and her eyelids fluttered shut as her lips found Serena’s. What she had intended as a gentle kiss rapidly became so much more, as the two women poured all their pain and pent up passion into this first kiss. Bernie’s arms slid around Serena’s back, pulling her closer, breast against breast, as if she couldn’t bear an ounce of space between them.

Serena reciprocated, hands smoothing down Bernie’s strong back, and back up into her hair, thrusting her breasts forward and moving slightly to increase the friction. They matched each other, moan for moan, gasp for gasp, Bernie’s teeth teasing Serena’s lower lip, then soothing it with soft strokes of her tongue, Serena tilting her head to fit her lips even better to Bernie’s, repaying the favour with soft flicks of her own tongue.

Serena’s head spun. Already, she had reached heights of arousal that she’d never even dreamed of. Her body ached, and pulsed, and she briefly wondered how on earth she could ever have wondered if this was what she wanted, before all rational thought fled on a tide of sensation. No longer satisfied with just the pressure of Bernie’s lips upon hers, she slid an arm round from Bernie’s back, and stroked it up her side, finally cupping her hand over Bernie’s breast. Bernie’s resulting gasp was all the encouragement she needed. She pushed her away slightly and without breaking their kiss, brought round her other hand too, and slowly began to undo the buttons on Bernie’s shirt.

Bernie gave little moans as Serena’s knuckles brushed her bare skin each time a button was dispensed with. When Serena then slid her hand inside her shirt to smooth it down over her shoulders, Bernie’s eyes flew open, searching Serena’s face.

But Serena was too intent on her actions to notice Bernie’s pause. She pulled away from the kiss, mouth swollen and wet, gazing intently down at Bernie’s torso, watching as she trailed her fingers along the lace edging the swell of Bernie’s breasts. Serena was breathless in awe at the perfection of Bernie’s toned body, marred only by the scar from her surgery 6 months ago. She leaned forward and kissed the scar, marvelling at this woman’s strength and courage represented by that scar.

Bernie watched with wonder as Serena’s lips trailed from the scar to join her fingers at the lace edge of her bra, then moments later her eyes fluttered shut again as Serena reached round and unhooked the bra, sliding it down her arms to drop it on the floor where her shirt already lay. Bernie held her breath for a moment, knowing Serena was studying her body, suddenly shy and afraid that Serena wouldn’t like what she saw. Moments passed with no sound or movement, until Bernie couldn’t stand it any longer, and opened her eyes a fraction to peek at Serena through her lashes. What she saw laid her fear to rest, as Serena sat before her, staring not at her breasts, but at her face, eyes burning with hunger and arousal such as Bernie had never before experienced.

“Oh, Bernie. You are so beautiful.” Serena leaned forward and kissed Bernie once more, breathing against her mouth as she pushed her down to lie back on the sofa. “So perfect...I want you so much.” With those words, Serena slid her hands slowly down from Bernie’s shoulders, leaning over her to cup both her breasts. Serena’s palms circled slowly on Bernie’s peaked nipples, causing Bernie to arch and writhe her hips. Leaving Bernie’s lips, Serena kissed and licked her way along Bernie’s jaw line, down her neck and along her collar bone, before sliding her mouth down to draw a nipple between her lips and suckle gently, flicking the tip of her tongue across the peak. Bernie’s head fell back and her chest flushed dark. Her writhing and moaning continued as Serena continued to tease her nipple, eventually moving across to repeat the action on its twin.

Seeing the effect she was having on this woman that she loved, Serena’s own arousal was reaching even greater heights, until she thought she might come just from touching Bernie. Wanting more herself, she sat up for a moment, quickly unbuttoning her own shirt and divesting herself of shirt, vest and bra in quick succession. Watching from lowered lids, Bernie sprung upright as Serena slid her bra off, quickly cupping Serena’s heavy breasts before repaying Serena’s actions by turning her attention to Serena’s nipples. “Oh, Serena, if only you knew how long I’ve wanted to see you like this, touch you like this... and this... ” She sucked Serena’s nipple into her mouth and gently grazed it with her teeth, making her lover cry out with desire.

Serena was almost beyond coherent thought as she grasped Bernie’s shoulders, frantically kneading with her fingers in time with Bernie’s mouth on her nipple. All that was left was an uncompromising desire to fully know the body of this woman to whom she had gifted her heart. Driven by this desire, she half-lifted Bernie away from her swollen and sensitive breasts, and pushed her back once more on the sofa, kissing down her torso again, but this time, lingering only briefly on her breasts before continuing down over the gentle swell of her abdomen. Her hands feverishly fumbled with the button on Bernie’s trousers, finally releasing it and peeling the form fitting trousers down her endless legs, stroking her hands along Bernie’s smooth thighs, then calves, before finally divesting her of boots and trousers.

Serena’s gaze burned along Bernie’s slender frame, taking in every inch of her toned beauty, laid bare before her with the exception of her black lacy panties. Bernie’s own eyes were fixed on Serena’s flushed breasts, as Serena’s gentle pressure encouraged Bernie to bend one of her legs up, allowing Serena to stroke determinedly up her calf. Serena paused her stroking at Bernie’s knee, where she leaned forward and replaced her hand with her mouth, kissing the inside of Bernie’s thigh just above her knee before kissing, licking and nibbling her way slowly, oh so slowly upward.

Bernie’s moans were coming faster, desperate for release as Serena approached the place the blonde most wanted her to be. Serena was bent over Bernie fully now, kneeling between her legs, propped up on an elbow sunk into the sofa, hand curled over Bernie’s breast, teasing her nipple in time with her slow kisses along her thigh. Bernie’s uncontrolled arousal had tipped Serena to the point where she could take no more, and she slid her free hand down her own trousers to stimulate herself even as she pleasured the other woman.

Serena finally reached the panties at the top of Bernie’s thighs, and, lips pausing in place for a moment, she looked up along the length of Bernie’s body. Bernie’s head was flung back. Lips parted and moist, breath coming harshly. Her chest was heaving and the flush had spread up her neck. Her hips moved wildly, desperate for Serena’s touch and the release she craved. Finally, Serena brushed her mouth across the lace panties, and Bernie let out a groan that was almost pained, sending a jolt of electricity through Serena’s own body. Pulling her hand from her own clothes, Serena grabbed the waist of Bernie’s panties and dragged them down her body, before desperately returning her mouth to the top of Bernie’s thigh, and her hand to her own heat.

Once again, Serena moved her mouth over Bernie’s sex, breathing in the heady scent of her, before gently licking her tongue along the length of her slit, overwhelmed by the ambrosial taste of her. Spurred on once more by another of Bernie’s wild groans, Serena used her tongue more forcefully, parting Bernie’s folds and finding her clitoris. Bernie’s gasps turned into a litany of words, as her head thrashed from side to side.

“Oh, god, Serena! Oh, god. Oh, don’t stop, please don’t stop...”

Heady with Bernie’s need for her, and her own relish for this new form of intimacy, Serena continued pleasuring Bernie with her tongue, fingers working more insistently against her own sex as Bernie’s abandon increased.

“Oh, god, Serena, I’m going to come! Serena, I love you...” Bernie’s unexpected words were the last straw for Serena, and she came on her own fingers in a massive rush, shuddering hard, hand spasming against Bernie’s breast, and mouth, groaning into Bernie’s sex. Her groans vibrated against Bernie’s clit, triggering Bernie to her own orgasm which continued on and on and on, as Serena continued to pant into her and lave Bernie’s clit with a gentle tongue.

As Bernie finally began to come down from her peak, she lay exhausted, flushed and glistening with sweat, naked and exposed before Serena. Serena sat up, worshipping Bernie with her eyes, taking in every inch of her beauty and her abandon, marvelling at how much she had opened herself up to Serena. She may find it hard to express things in words, but there was a raw honesty to her reactions which transcended mere sex, it was a connection of souls. And those words... she had said that... . Serena glanced down at her own body, naked from the waist up, and for the first time that evening felt shy and self conscious. What if it had been a heat-of-the-moment thing? What if Bernie didn’t really mean it? Serena reached down and grabbed her shirt, clutching it against her breasts.

Feeling the rush of air as Serena moved, Bernie languorously opened her eyes. When she saw Serena sitting stiffly, shirt held against her body, she frowned and sat up. Reaching out to gently circle one of Serena’s wrists, she asked, “Hey! What’s happening? Did I do something wrong?” Serena relaxed her face into a shy smile. “No, it was perfect. YOU were perfect.” Bernie reached up a hand to stroke Serena’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Serena. I feel like I let you down.” Confusion flitted across Serena’s face. “Why?”

“Well, it should have been _me_ , making _your_ first time special. I mean, I did want you to take the lead - I wanted to be sure that things only moved at your pace, that I wasn’t pressuring you. I wanted... I _want_ you so badly, I was afraid that I’d push too hard. What we just shared was beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. But in all my fantasies, it was _me,_ showing _you_ how wonderful everything could be.”

“Bernie”, Serena’s face melted into a full smile. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to take the responsibility upon your shoulders. _We_ are a team. A great one. We always have been. This is just a new phase in our teamwork.” Her eyes glittered with amusement. “And I, for one, wouldn’t want a thing to have happened differently.” She smiled lovingly at Bernie.

Bernie finally smiled back. “Well, then, Ms Campbell.” She stood up, stretching languorously, lamplight gleaming on her pale skin, completely unselfconscious in her nakedness. “I hope you don’t think I’m done with you. On the contrary, I’m only now about to begin.” She reached down, circling Serena’s wrists, pulling her up to stand before her and gently pressuring her to drop her shirt once more. As it fluttered to the floor, Bernie took a step back, eyes roaming over Serena’s face, then down to her breasts. “But first, I think we should relocate to my bedroom.”

The women walked down the hall, hand in hand, gazing at each other with adoring eyes. “In here”, said Bernie, as she led Serena to the edge of her bed. “Will you lie down with me?” She reached over, switching on a lamp on the small table beside the bed.

Serena smiled at Bernie, and without releasing the blonde’s hand, sat down on the bed, pulling Bernie down with her. They settled back on the cool, crisp sheets, lying face to face, hands still linked tightly together.

Bernie leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss across Serena’s lips whilst gently untangling their fingers. She noted the lingering scent of herself on Serena’s mouth, memories of how it got there reigniting her own desire. She stroked her hand down Serena’s side, coming to rest upon her trouser clad hip. “May I dispense with these?” she asked.

Serena nodded wordlessly, waiting until Bernie had freed the button at the waist of her trousers before shifting onto her back and raising her hips slightly.

Bernie placed her hands around Serena’s waist, stroking down in slow, smooth movements, easing the trousers and Serena’s panties down as she went. Removing the garments from where they snagged around Serena’s ankles, Bernie knelt up on the bed by Serena’s feet, dragging her gaze along every inch of the brunette’s womanly curves. “Serena!” she breathed. “If you only knew how long I’ve wanted... you are amazing.” She ran her hand up Serena’s thigh and over her stomach before settling herself back at Serena’s side. Serena turned once more to face her. “Lie on your stomach”, commanded Bernie.

Serena trustingly complied, turning her head to watch her lover’s face.

Bernie propped herself up on one elbow, head in hand, as she reached across with her free hand and stroked across Serena’s shoulder blades. “I want to know every inch of you”, she confessed. “Every... single... inch...” she punctuated each word with kisses pressed against Serena’s shoulder. Bernie began a tantalisingly slow exploration, sweeping across Serena’s back, sometimes with finger tips, sometimes with her palm. She explored Serena’s neck with her fingers, stroking, smoothing, noting every shiver and pleasured moan. Her eyes followed her hands as she returned to Serena’s back, until she had mapped every freckle and mark the other woman carried.

Bernie’s worship of her body had put Serena again in a state of intense arousal. The gentle teasing exploration of Bernie’s fingers was working a charm, but even more than that, was the overwhelmingly arousing knowledge that Bernie was prepared to take such time, such care, such _interest_ in Serena’s own pleasure above her own. Serena knew she had never been so desired in her life before, and this knowledge itself was as heady as any physical stimulation.

Bernie’s fingers moved inexorably down until she had learned all the pleasure points on Serena’s back, before finally descending over Serena’s buttocks. Serena couldn’t hold back her gasp, and the instinctive raising of her buttocks to try and encourage Bernie’s fingers to slip around to where she most wanted to be touched.

“Would you like to roll over and lie on your back now, Serena?” asked Bernie huskily, her peaked nipples and flushed chest betraying her own fresh arousal. Serena moved swiftly onto her back, parting her legs slightly, and arching her hips. “Oh, no, Serena. I need to start from the top again. It would be wrong to rush ahead!”, she teased huskily.

Serena let out a loud gasp, and groaned, “Bernie...”

“Hush”, Bernie whispered back. “It’s ok. I’ve got you”, and she began again her exploration of Serena’s body, this time with mouth as well as hands. The delicate skin of her inner arms. Her heaving chest, her flushed and hardened nipples, the soft, soft skin of her abdomen. Serena couldn’t take much more, her legs were thrown apart, hips bucking, searching wildly for a release from the burning tension in her core. Finally, and oh so slowly, Bernie’s hand slid down across Serena’s mound, fingers slipping into the slick heat pooled between her legs.

Serena cried out with emotion, as Bernie’s clever fingers circled around her clitoris, making her cry out loudly. Overwhelmed by her own desire, and her need to give Serena all she was, Bernie shimmied down the bed, repositioning herself between Serena’s thighs, and swiftly replacing her stroking fingers with her mouth, her tongue stroking, thrusting, circling around until Serena’s moans became a continuous litany of sound. Unable to bear any more sensation, Serena came in a shattering orgasm that felt like it was tearing her apart. “Bernie!” she screamed, shuddering and clamping her legs together, unable to bear any more stimulation against her too sensitive flesh.

“Oh, Serena!” whispered Bernie, moving back up the bed to embrace her. She watched as Serena lay with an arm flung above her head, eyes closed, breathing harsh as the stars behind her eyelids faded and she began to come down from her peak. Bernie snuggled closer, arm across Serena’s stomach, leg thrown across Serena’s, and head on Serena’s shoulder. She pressed gentle kisses against Serena’s jaw, breathing in the perfume of her neck. She felt utterly overwhelmed by the enormity of her feelings for this woman, unable to process that this level of emotion was even able to exist. She knew, in that instant, that there was nothing she wouldn’t do for Serena. Serena was her North star, her home, and if she would allow it, her life.

Serena finally returned to life, mind beginning to function again after the most intense pleasure of her life. She’d always disparaged the trope “I never thought it could be like this” as some poor romance novel line. But, she must be living in a romance novel herself if that was the case, because whilst she had always unashamedly enjoyed sex, she had no words for what had just transpired between Bernie and herself. She shifted carefully onto her side, to join in Bernie’s embrace, tucking Bernie’s thigh between her own and wrapping her arms tightly around her lover. Bernie lifted her head from Serena’s chest, and laid it on the pillow next to her. They lay almost nose to nose, bodies tightly joined, just looking at each other, each pouring all the emotion they felt into their gaze.

“Serena, I...” Bernie searched for words.

“Hmm?”

Bernie’s lip trembled as she tried to say the words, but the depth of her emotion was still too raw and overwhelming to say what she so wanted to express. She settled for: “Are you hungry?”

They decided in the end that it would be wise to eat something. Bernie wasn’t wrong when she said she didn’t have much in, and since neither of them could be bothered to try and be creative with very meagre supplies, cheese on toast seemed to be the easiest option. Serena had gone for the barest nod toward modesty by shrugging on her shirt, although she had not bothered with the buttons. Bernie, on the other hand, was entirely unconcerned with her nudity, and moved around the kitchen quite unselfconsciously, allowing Serena the opportunity to drink in the sight of her majestic body unhindered. Bernie herself was rather enjoying the shirt on Serena. Any movements Serena made caused the shirt to billow open slightly, affording brief and tantalising glances of her glorious breasts. And not being able to see everything readily was just a perfect excuse to slide her hands around Serena’s middle every time she moved past her, stroking past her hips to squeeze her bottom.

Their makeshift meal was consumed across the kitchen counter from each other, loving eyes watching every bite, lips unable to contain the smiles they had for each other. When the last bite had been finished, and the crumbs cleared away (Bernie would have left them, but Serena couldn’t bear to), Bernie took Serena’s hands once more.

“Come back to bed with me. I want to be close with you again.”

Serena’s eyes twinkled, and she laughed a satisfied laugh, letting Bernie lead her once more to the bedroom. They lay down together again, face to face. Hands stroked, caressed, explored. The tendrils of arousal still wrapped around them, but they were muted, languid, non urgent. This moment was not about body, it was about soul. Time passed. Hands moved slower, until they stilled, resting in place. Eyes fluttered shut as happiness and fulfilment cocooned them, and sleep began to overtake. Serena shifted and rolled over, so her back was to Bernie. Bernie snuggled close, wrapping herself around Serena’s back.

“Serena?” whispered Bernie. “There's something I need you to know.”

“Hmm?” asked Serena sleepily, eyes flickering open.

“I meant what I said. Earlier”, said Bernie. “I love you.”

Serena's face split into a beatific smile. “I love you too, Ms Wolfe.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Daylight slanting through the open curtains roused Serena first the next morning. She’d slept more soundly than she had for many weeks, and initially felt quite disorientated, until she registered the weight of Bernie’s arm across her stomach, legs pressed up against her own.

“Mmm, morning Serena”, mumbled Bernie sleepily. “I love you”. The words slipped out with ease.

Serena reached out a hand and ran it along Bernie’s arm. “You too.” She smiled. Then a thought struck her, and she jerked upright in bed. “Oh, god! Jason! He won’t know where I am!”

“Won’t he just assume that you got stuck at the hospital?” asked Bernie, pulling herself into a sitting position next to Serena. “After all, it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened.”

“You’re right, of course.” Serena breathed a sigh of relief. “This is all new to me. I mean, more than just us.” She briefly rested her head on Bernie’s shoulder. “I’ve been single since I’ve had Jason to look after. Robbie left as soon as I decided to take Jason in. I have to consider how to fit him into our relationship.”

“Our relationship?” asked Bernie softly. “Is this truly finally happening for us?”

“I’m rather surprised that after last night, you still feel like you need to ask!” retorted Serena, drily. “I can’t quite imagine that you would have said all those things last night merely to manipulate me into bed, if you hadn’t been prepared to give us a chance”, she went on, “and I’ve never made any secret of how I feel about you. So, yes, Ms Wolfe. Our relationship is really happening!”

Bernie beamed, and pressed a kiss upon Serena’s lips. Serena melted into Bernie for a moment, eagerly returning the kiss, before pulling away.

“Much as I’d like to continue kissing you, I, for one, have work today. I didn’t ask – are you on shift today too?”

“Actually, I am. Although work is the last thing on my mind at the moment!” Bernie flirted gently.

“Well, that’s as it may be, but life will _probably_ be easier if we both keep our jobs!” fired back Serena. “So for now, may I use your shower?”

“I don’t know if you knew this about me, Ms Campbell, but I’m very environmentally conscious.” Bernie fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. “I don’t believe in wasting water. Which means there is no responsible option other than to join you!”

Serena groaned, and pulled the other woman toward her in a loose embrace, kissing her swiftly.

“OK, you win.” She released Bernie, turned and started off toward the bathroom. She threw a sultry look back over her shoulder. “You can wash my back!”

A short time later found both women dressed and preparing to leave Bernie’s flat.

“I wonder how many people will notice I’m wearing the same clothes as yesterday?!” smirked Serena

“Oh, god, I’ve done it again! I’ve made you a target for gossip! Serena, I didn’t even think...” Bernie looked crestfallen.

“Oh, don’t be daft! Do you really think I care anymore?” Serena gave her a sardonic look. “They can say what they like. They’re going to anyway, when they discover they were right about us all along! May as well make it a bit juicier for them when they figure out what my recycled outfit means!”

“So, today, we don’t need to avoid each other again?” asked Bernie carefully.

“As if I could even think of staying away from you!” smiled Serena, heart in her eyes.

They drove to the hospital in their respective cars, pulling into their spaces just moments apart in an echo of the previous evening. Bernie got out of her car first, head down, watching Serena through her fringe. Even after the intensity of the previous evening, and the glow of their relationship, she still felt a shadow of fear that she would somehow mess this up. Perhaps say the wrong thing, or worse, _do_ the wrong thing. She had decided in the car on the way over, that she should allow Serena to take the lead, and hold back from anything which could make the brunette uncomfortable. She had also briefly examined how _she_ felt about publicly acknowledging their relationship – if that was indeed what Serena still planned to do. However much she was willing to open up to Serena, she was still a very private and reserved person. The sting of her forced ‘outing’ in front of the entire staff of Keller still echoed through her. Apart from Marcus – which of course was nothing but a respectable heterosexual marriage, she had never had a public relationship before, certainly never with a woman. Was she ready to live her life so honestly in front of her friends and colleagues? Standing now, watching Serena climb out of her car, face lighting up with a beaming smile, just for her – she knew without a doubt. She was ready.

Serena appeared not to have had any such misgivings on her own drive here. She walked directly up to Bernie, and pressed a brief kiss upon her lips.

“I missed you”, she said with a smile.

“Hah! It’s barely 15 minutes drive between my place and here!” laughed Bernie.

“Well, having had to do without you for so very long, right now that felt like a bit too much time apart!”

“I’m quite sure, before very long, you’ll be fed up of the sight of me”, said Bernie, only half jokingly.

Serena’s face lost its humour, and she stared intently into Bernie’s eyes, trying to transmit her feelings as she replied, “No. I won’t.”

Bernie reached out for Serena’s hand, giving it a brief squeeze, lips crooked in a rueful smile. She went to release her fingers from Serena’s, but Serena stopped her, linking their fingers more snugly together as she turned, ready to enter the hospital. Bernie cast a quizzical glance at her, but didn’t protest. Rather than any trepidation at such an open flaunting of their relationship such as she might have previously experienced, she noted with wonder that her only emotions were of overwhelming pride and gratitude that she was the recipient of this amazing woman’s love, and of Serena’s strength and self-confidence in being so proud to display it. Again, the enormity of her love for Serena washed over her, humbling, arousing and scaring her in equal measure. Her fingers tightened involuntarily upon Serena’s.

“Right, then. Are we ready for this?” asked Serena.

“I love you”, replied Bernie, “and I’m ready.”

The two women walked into the hospital, hands linked together, heads held high, daring anyone to question their love for each other.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Christmas had come and gone, and Bernie and Serena’s relationship had gone from strength to strength. Cameron had given them his blessing, and had come to spend Christmas with them at Serena’s. Charlotte had met Serena, and had at the very least been civil, although she was clearly still hurting from the divorce, and Marcus’s whispers in her ear. Elinor had also accepted their relationship, although it had taken her a while to get over the shock. It wasn’t that she was in the least homophobic – it was just it was _Mum_! She had been there for Christmas too, and had clearly had a few chats with Cameron, because it was after this that her acceptance began to grow. Serena had also heard from Edward, who had decided to call her a few choice words and blame her for their failure of a marriage. Fortunately, she had had a few good laughs with Bernie about this, marvelling at the stupidity of a man who thought that Serena was to blame rather than his cheating.

They spent the majority of their time at Serena’s house. It had just worked out far more practically than spending time at Bernie’s, for the simple reason of Jason. Bernie had adapted quickly and comfortably to Jason’s needs and routines – benefit of an army career, she told Serena. Jason, in turn, clearly adored Bernie. She discovered that she enjoyed quiz shows, and she and Jason sat and shouted answers at the television, teasing each other when they got them wrong. She had also provided Jason with a wealth of information about army life, after he’d become obsessed as a result of watching a documentary about British troops serving abroad. She’d been able to gently dissuade him from his latest career wish to become a soldier, and had managed to do it in such a way that he thought he’d changed his mind by himself.

Work was also great. They were such an established couple now, they triggered even less gossip than Dom and Isaac, who still had an occasionally tumultuous relationship. There had been a bit of a wobble at first, when Hanssen had called them to his office and suggested it might be prudent if one of them transferred to a different ward, to prevent any possible “issues” down the line. Serena couldn’t blame him for that, she would have done exactly the same when still Deputy CEO. However she had no intentions of a time when she was no longer with Bernie – which of course was what the euphemism referred to. Between her and Bernie, they had managed to persuade him that they were adults, professionals, and whilst they would be amenable to revisiting the option should it be required further down the line, in the meantime, they were quite able to keep work and private life separate. This, of course, was not strictly true. As their relationship grew, so did their desire, and no one on the ward ever dared enter the office without knocking and waiting for a response any longer.

By Christmas, the majority of Bernie’s clothes resided at Serena’s. Her books and medical journals were to be found both on the bedside table, and scattered around the living room. When they got the opportunity to spend a night at Bernie’s, it was always a take away night, as invariably, Bernie’s fridge only contained something mouldy, her cupboard goods often out of date. So after the Christmas festivities had been cleared, and the children returned to their respective homes, it seemed logical to Serena to bring up their living situation.

“Bernie”, she began. “I’ve got something I want to talk to you about”.

Bernie looked up from the journal she was reading.

“We spend most of our free time together, here.”

“Yes, is that not still OK?” Bernie’s face took on a concerned look.

“No, it’s OK. It’s very OK!” Serena reassured. “It’s just that... well, I’d like you to move in. Properly.”

“Wow, Serena! I, um, I don’t know what to say. We’ve only been together for 2 months. Don’t you think it’s a bit soon?” Bernie’s voice sounded restrained and unsure.

“Actually, I don’t. We may have only been officially together for the past 2 months, but we’ve been friends for much longer. We’ve weathered a few storms as friends, haven’t we?!” she chuckled. “Thing is”, she went on, “I know how I feel about you, and it’s just getting stronger. I want to live with you. It may have come quickly, but part of me feels like I wasn’t alive until I met you. I can’t imagine a future without you, Bernie. And we don’t have the luxury of youth on our side. I don’t want to waste a single day more without having you fully by my side”.

Bernie’s eyes had filled with tears as Serena spoke. She fully understood what Serena was saying, she had perfectly described her own feelings. She reached over, grasping Serena in a tight embrace.

“I’d love to”, she promised.

And so, as the New Year began, Bernie left her sparsely furnished flat for the last time, and moved the last of her things into the warmth that was Serena’s home – _their_ home now.


End file.
